"Dad's cancer has progressed and I am just heartbroken."
Despite thousands of miles between us, I could feel the raw pain and helplessness of my friend.
I was at a loss....
How could I best empathise in such time?
" Take Care...."
"Everything will be alright"
"It happens...be strong !"
All socially correct platitudes...
Barely concealing MY discomfort to be with the impending death....
and connect to the sorrow of the family!
I had done that earlier on similar occasions...
used trite but well-meaning words, to hide what I truly wanted to communicate or felt!
It just didn't feel right NOW...
the rehearsed response to possibly among the most heartbreaking moment of her life!
This time I decided to meet the awkwardness head on...
Gauche and nervous about what to say, Yes....
but I would not conceal
the helplessness
I experienced in not being able to do anything to comfort or support her !
To allow the love and connection I felt for her and her family to surface through...
and my silent compassion...no filling the air with cliches or panic-talk
J needed space and understanding
not my social politeness!
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