I have been reflecting upon my changing relationship with Soumya.
She has been extremely excited that she turned thirteen this January.
I have been happy for her!
However, this momentous event of her life has also left me a little confused...
How do I relate to her, now ?
I can't baby her or talk down to her...
she rebels!!!!!!!!
and I am usually at the receiving end of this rebellion...
She is not an adult, though she says she can't wait to "grow UP"
One part of me is becoming more and more aware that I am mothering not a 13 year old teenager, but an image of my daughter!
I so desperately want to understand her changing needs, but I do not know who my daughter is, any more !!
Richard Brown of Naropa University says it so beautifully,
Children need our attention. But they are harmed if we smother them with well-intended, but self-serving attention. Children need us to be genuinely present with them; to be appropriate in that moment of life. We need to let go of our point of view and become them for that instant.
Such selflessness is not easy. We protect ourselves from the rawness of childhood with an armor of ideas, projects, and strategies.... We need to have the dignity and humility to look into the eyes of the children and not be afraid to see them exactly as they are.
We must nourish children for their own sake, not just so they will live according to our view of childhood, no matter how noble the view."
We must nourish children for their own sake, not just so they will live according to our view of childhood, no matter how noble the view."
