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Now I become myself
It's taken Time,
many years and places;
I have been dissolved and shaken,
Worn other people's faces...
~May Sarton~
Sometimes...
Instead of exhilaration,
there seems to be a sense of
What-the-hell-am-I doing with my life?
Is life
a dazed window shopping spree on a frenzied weekend?
Zombie surfing on whatsapp chats
feeding the imaginary pets,
scanning the newspapers for the latest break-ups in Bollywood
and having the predictable automated conversations in social dos where the entire evening is templatized, including the playlists and the drinks...
Running an imaginary treadmill of success, knowing fully well that it doesn't sustain the fire within?
Seeking a 'like' in every conversation, every relationship..
as if that pat will finally liberate the chained puppy inside!
Time to unpeel the mask
and say hello to the acne on my face
the restlessness in the heart
and the loneliness in the dark abyss of the soul
Befriend the shaky ordinary dreams which refuse to go away....
Persistent and determined
Doggedly nudging, cajoling,
Leading me like an awestruck child who sees the shooting star on the sky
and discovers the bliss within ...after chasing it for aeons outside
Time to lose myself....and become Me
Now there is time and Time is young.
O, in this single hour I live
All of myself and do not move.
I, pursued, who madly ran
Stand still, stand still, and stop in the sun.
~May Sarton~
