Sep 10, 2018

Put plenty of heart into it ...by giving love away



Picture Credit : unsplash.com

I have never really comprehended what an " IDEAL "  relationship is all about ?

This heartfelt note from Timber Hawkeye , Buddhist Bootcamp perhaps summarises how I want most of my relationships....specially the close ones 

“Relationships are often misunderstood to be a simple commitment between two people; 
a dedication to each other with a sense of belonging to one another. 

That kind of limited perspective breeds expectations, possessiveness and disappointment, and it reeks of ownership, greed, ignorance, and selfish desire.

A healthy relationship is an agreement between two people to support one another in their spiritual practice. It is a vow to encourage each other’s dedication, devotion and path, free from attachment or expectations (yet full of caring and compassion). 

A healthy relationship is based on unconditional love, not on the need to possess. 

Although you put plenty of “heart” into it, you lose nothing by giving love away.

If each person is equally dedicated to inspire, create, awaken, and enrich the lives of others, then there is no hidden agenda. 
It is far less important what one receives from the other than what one can give.

Intimacy would suddenly surpass warmth and tenderness to also include patience, vulnerability, honesty, active listening, understanding, connection, and unwavering trust.

There is a healing power inherent in this kind of union, and it is capable of enabling deep transformation for both people. It is an incredible opportunity[…]”

Excerpt From: Hawkeye, Timber. “Buddhist Boot Camp.”

Sep 4, 2018

I live my daydreams in music....





"If I were not a physicist, I would probably be a musician. 

I often think in music. I live my daydreams in music. 


I see my life in terms of music.”

~Albert Einstein~

Ever since I can remember,
music has been an integral part of my life...

The whisper of crickets in the leechi trees in Dehradun

The loud drone of fighter planes in Basra

The koooo-koooo chook-chook of train from Mumbai to Benares in the summer holidays

The incomprehensible yet loving loris of Daddaji in chaste punjabi

The gurgling sound of Ganga at Laxman Jhoola and the swish of the paddle boats

And Lata Mangeshkar- Kishore Kumar duets on Radio Ceylon

I was a dreamy child and sought music wherever I was!

Sawant dadaji in Theosophical society, Benares, astutely channelised my love for singing
and introduced me to Gayatri Mantra and Hanuman chalisa at a very early age
Getting up at 4.30 am to hear the vedic chants reverberating in each and every cell of my body,
was the highlight of my summer holidays.
I can almost hear them even today

Bandra East, Mumbai was where I was introduced to the wonder of playlists
Those TDK cassettes zealously purchased from the duty-free shops,
Our old antique-looking German tape-recorder
And my brother and I painstakingly writing the name of the each song neatly
with our black Schaefer ink pen...

Chitrahaar, Movies and Antakshari made me the original acapella  specialist, even before the background sounds were in vogue!

Though I did not know it then,
learning Hindustani Classical at that age, was a gift given by my parents to me at that tender age!
I ofcourse, resisted the alaaps and the bhaavgeets that time, as I could hear my friends enjoying their evening play when I was practicing the aaroh- avroh ...
and struggling with passing Music exams
while my spirit was dying to participate in the unstructured play in the colony playground!

My love for gaana continued in my dating days with Uday
where his Meri bheegi bheegi  matched my Beeti na beetaayi raina 
and our romance blossomed over our eclectic choice of music:
his old Kishore Kumar numbers to my Disco Station...how we laughed at the differences...and yet the deeper almost divine bonding

and Soumya was born in a very musically alive home!

Cooing rehashed and remixed versions of nursery rhymes to put her to sleep
Converting the cups of water to jaltarang
It was hardly a surprise that my toddler was soon swaying to songs,
making playlists and swooning over Jonas brothers and Miley Cyrus!

The first playlist she made for me was the sweetest gift anyone had ever, ( and since ) given me,
each number meticulously woven in the necklace of a pretty playlist which Mom could wear and listen to anywhere, anytime....specially when she missed her moppet!

Her tradition of this gifting of love and connection still continues for me in my life ....

I make playlists whenever I want to gift a part of me to someone
and my love affair with Music continues unabashedly, unabated !

Every song with a rhythm , a heartbeat and woven with the richness of life or the ordinariness of it :)

Happy
Sad
Slow
Classical
Old
New
Rock
Jazzy
Dhinchak
English
Hindi
Regional
Global
through the ups and downs of life
bringing me closer to emotions and feelings : the aliveness of life...the joie de vivre of existence

When I look back at almost five decades of my musical moments, 
they encompass it all - 

the voice, the breath, the melody 

and the silence between the notes

the said 

and the unsaid 

I am blessed to have lived and hope to continue living in this cauldron of notes...till eternity !

Check my playlists in this youtube channel

My Playlists

Aug 14, 2018

Lesson in Abundance...


Suman Tai has been working with me for the past 25 years plus.

Thin, frail, Maharastrian woman,
she belongs
to a tribe
I admiringly call...

A Professional!

She migrated from a small village near Pune.....Me shetkari aahey
"I am a farmer , first !"

She speaks local Marathi dialect,
which over the years I have begun to grasp;
But our connection is more from heart
and much much more than that of a boss and a sub-ordinate!!

From my end, specially, the emotion is much more of a respect...
She may not be the cleanest or the most efficient worker...
but her heart and loyalties are in the right place

What also stuns me, sometime, is her generosity

I have been taught from my childhood that I must share,
that Sharing is Caring....and I would call myself averagely , ahem, generous ....!

But I do find myself calculating what, how much, and with whom I share! :)

Whether its my favourite chocolate oolong tea which is rationed and brewed only when I am alone 
or 
my favourite mangoes which are slyly kept in that corner of the refrigerator where no one will rummage and notice...
I do run a quick check list of Should I? Must I ?
before I open my closed fist...

With Suman Tai its not like that.
She always finds an occasion to give, unconditionally and finds opportunities to do so :

Her bounty primarily being raw mangoes or jamun which fall off the trees in the colony we stay in and which she gathers....or some lemons handed over free by a vegetable vendor

With twinkling eyes and unbridled and unquestioning generosity,  she removes them from her pallu, and hands over to me with simplicity and kindness!

She is truly abundant !

"Abundance is not the money you have in your bank account, the trophies on your shelf, the letters after your name, the list of goals reached, the number of people you know, your perfect body, your adoring fans... It is the delight with which you savour each unique moment, the joy with which you greet each new day.....
It is knowing yourself as presence, the power that creates and moves worlds. It is your open heart... 
It is simplicity. It is kindness..... "
~Jeff Foster~ 




Jul 4, 2018

Kuch Dil ne kaha...connect to my heart





Heart, that wondrous part of me which connects me to my soul and to life...

Thumping, pacing, nudging me to hear its beat, 

and to embrace everything, wholeheartedly and with equanimity : 

Joyous moments or painful heartbreaks…

feeling more.... 

loving more…

hurting more…

living more…

Hindi film music has captured different nuances and moods of this DIL so beautifully.....

Click on this link to listen to some such wonderful heartfelt numbers 

Jun 26, 2018

Please do retain your desipana


#Modernisation
#Globalisation
#MeraBharatMahaan 
Vagairah vagairah ....

Increasingly find myself to be a Fuddy-duddy desi.... 
atleast in my heart !
Hate the templatisation of cities and towns and mohallas... 

Walking down 100 Feet Road on Indiranagar, Bengaluru today 
feels the same as a stroll down Rajpur Road, Dehradun or Linking Road, Khar....
Levis and the Adidases and McDs and Pizza Huts of the world jostling to be SEEN 
alongside the local brands offering the same to same goods for sale! 

At such times, the Local HERO Brand of every city/town/ townlet shines out for the desi girl, that I long to be...
With the local flavor, mood and desipana which no franchised outlets can replicate !!!

Here's to
The MTR Kaapi in Bengaluru
the Kulfi Falooda at Kumar Sweets, Ghantaghar, Dehradun
and the vadapav at Mithibai college

Jun 6, 2018

Poignancy and love







As the sun melts into the sea and allows the evening and the night to unfold,
it also brings forth moments
of unspoken
or unrequited love

and

the memories of the beloved.

I wonder what it would be like to celebrate
and not lament
this bitter sweet emotion of poignancy and love
but mostly find it difficult to do so!

Music has helped me dive into memories of love with a spirit

to toast those times of connection and not sink into despondency and pity

Check this playlist which attempts to celebrate this love...

Youtube playlist : Aaye tum Yaad mujhe 

"Wherever your heart is, there you will find your treasure."


There
they were...
Ripe, juicy,
Sweet...
and a pure delight on the taste buds....

Mangoes from our own compound!

Every summer for years
 we would complain about the deteriorating quality of mangoes in the market..
the artificial ripening,
and the insipid taste

Till we discovered mangoes of our own backyard.....

Very ordinary looking, local variety of mango which had co-existed
along with other trees  in the bungalow plot for as long as I can remember....

Forgotten, even in the season....almost like an orphan!

a nuisance because it had gotten difficult
to find someone to pluck the mangoes in season
and
the mess created by birds who would drop half eaten fruits on the ground

The workers who had come to mend the garage, wanted to pluck some mangoes for their kids.
I was more than happy to see them GO!

They left some bounty for us,

and a what a treasure that was.....!

Ripe, juicy,
sweet
and a pure delight on the taste buds....!

Mangoes from our own compound!

It just struck me :

Life has been the same for me....
I have kept searching outside, out there, for the treasures it has to offer , greedily

Hunting, scrambling, begging with an unwarranted neediness

Relationships
Friendships
Connections
Work
Money
Purpose

Searching for larger and loftier goals and milestones in each of these areas

All have been present in my own backyard...

whilst I have been playing the unaware, restless wanderer!

Truly :
"Wherever your heart is, there you will find your treasure." ~Paulo Coelho ~


A teardrop

Was that a drop of tear I saw glistening near his eyes? I will never know because he turned his face away, as soon as he heard th...