“Dus ka do…Le lo Na, Didi.
Chalo discount main deti hoon,
Dus Ka teen!”
“Two for Rs ten!
Please buy.
I can give you discount.
Buy three for Rs ten.”
The
sale of small paper flags at the traffic signals in Mumbai just before the Republic
and Independence Day, is a common sight.
When
Soumya was younger, we would enthusiastically buy these symbols of our
Indian-ness, eager as I was, to teach her about her roots and what it means to
be an Indian. Soon I realized that this was not a good idea!
Once
the Independence Day was over, the flag lived a neglected, banished existence…rolling
from one corner of the house, to other…gathering dust …and I did not know how
to put it away. Throwing away the national flag in dustbin, even though it was a
symbolic one, seemed discourteous…even blasphemous!!!
When
I was younger, Independence Day meant the mandatory rising up early and going
to school for the flag hoisting. I still get goosebumps when I recollect how,
as the School Captain, I was made to hoist the flag in front of the School assembly.
Perhaps it was the thrill of being the chosen
one… or the intangible sense of pride I felt, as I touched the rope and felt
the marigold flowers being showered on my head, the feeling was electrifying...
Over
the years 15th August for me has become one of those distinct days
in August which has the most ‘happening’ Independence
Day Sales in the shopping malls, or
when it happens to fall on a Friday or a Monday, becomes that extended weekend when
we can head to Goa or Matheran for a quick break from work.
With
the advent of the social media, the celebration of Indianness is even more real
time and in your face! The DPs are changed on 14th August midnight and
the tricolor flashed on our Facebook pages to celebrate our bharatiyta. All of
this lasts for a day, before the next festivity, the next flavor of the times,
takes over!
I wonder what is the Indianness that I want
to reflect on and celebrate this 69th year of Independence?
Is
it the immense pride I experience when I hear that Sunder Pichai the newly
appointed CEO of Google is an Indian by origin? Or do I celebrate that India’s first Mars mission,
which was blasted off in 2014 cost only Rs. 4.5 billion?
Do I
feel embarrassed by the fact that India ranked 94th out of 176
countries in the Corruption Perception Index of a survey by Transparency
International in 2013?
Or
feel inspired that that there are people like Kailash Satyarthi who work hard
and selflessly, almost unnoticed and unrecognized, till an international agency
highlights their achievements?
Do I
hang my head in shame and embarrassment when I watch the elected leaders of one
of world’s largest democracy bicker and fight in the parliament house like irresponsible
children?
And then
closer to home –
What is it that is Indian about me?
How do I define my connection to my unique
roots?
I realize
that paradoxes in the India that I live in are, perhaps, very akin to the contradictions,
which exist inside me.
Perhaps
the bharatiyta for me is the deepest sense of pride I feel in being connected to
my roots, to this amazingly spirited and spiritual country, its eclectic take
on life and its diversity.
Like the collective, perhaps I am chasing some
defunct ideals and principles which need to questioned, personalized and owned
up to, rather than blindly accepted because they have been passed on from
centuries.
There
is an experience of abundance of love, connections and warmth in relationships here,
yet there is stubbornness in taking responsibility and a dependency on others
to deliver!
My
Indianness is the whole chalta hai attitude... the inability to go down the
route of commitment and discipline which can make me excel. It is this huge
talent, yet a general disbelief around my capabilities.
Independence and connection to my Indianness in the truest sense would be to break the shackles of these beliefs…walk my talk and live my life from an authentic space!
Where
I need to exercise my muscle, is the muscle of acceptance…the need to
appreciate, embrace and even celebrate the different, the unusual, the nonconformist
in me and others…rather than follow the obvious, run of the mill herd
mentality.
Can
I connect to what I truly believe about life, rituals and pass them onto Soumya
and others with genuine connection and appreciation of how it plays out in my
life?
Can I stop conveniently hiding behind others, to shine?
Can I for one,
believe in my talent and ability to deliver as a mother, wife, daughter and a
career woman and step out of the web of doubts?
On
this Swantrata divas, time for me perhaps to connect to my personal and very unique
take on my independence!
