Sep 3, 2017

Just not me


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Its so seductive to live in the "glorious past" 
and the "glorious titles or roles' which defined me in the good ol' days ..
Some titles make me appear taller than I am...

Ahem! and more important...
and some.....well, they are just NOT ME , in my current avatar...

but are present, like an addendum...an afterthought!
Some of my Ad nauseaum titles which are pulled out as trump card but longer resonate with me, today are :
Academic Achiever & School Captain ( 35 + years back 
Entrepreneur ( All of 17 years ago)
Rubble rouser & Dabbler at work ( All of my professional life LOL )
Hoarder ( practically all of my life )
Today as I embark upon a journey of simplicity and meaning, time to expire and knock off titles which have outlived their use.
Check out this wonderful article, which delves deeper into this 
'Ring out the Old....so that you can Ring in the New' !

Aug 31, 2017

The art of stillness



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'In an age of speed, I began to think, nothing could be more invigorating than going slow. In an age of distraction, nothing can feel more luxurious than paying attention. And in an age of constant movement, nothing is more urgent than sitting still.'
~Pico Iyer~

Its been a while, that the need to slow down has been knocking hard....
Permeating every moment when I am harried and rushing through the day

Pulling me back when I want to multitask mindlessly

Egging me on 

To        
Slow down 
and chill....
And become more attentive!

What's there to rush like this???

My body decided to join in this coaxing and cajoling : 
Fell off the stairs whilst I was climbing , a few days back...The foot hurt badly and ego was badly bruised ๐Ÿ˜‰ !

What seemed like a small cut was actually a deeper wound requiring immediate attention and stitching up.

Doctor was categorical in his verdict - Complete bed rest for a fortnight and a strong dose of painkillers! Your world will not stop! 

No, it won't....

'Ahem, Really?'

I have been playing the 'grounded kabootar' ever since...

Trying hard Not to move or to DO anything which adds pressure to the hurt foot.

Playing a 'patient' patient

Allowing everyone time to attend to me after I holler for the nth time!

Its not helping that I had decided just last month to do a facebook/whatsapp detox and wean myself from inane conversations and peripheral connections on social media....

Becoming aware how difficult it has become to quieten down and listen to my inner voice- Practicing the art of stillness! 

OhYes........

' in an age of constant movement, nothing is more urgent than sitting still!'









Jul 14, 2017

One of those days...

Yesterday was one of those days:
A faceoff with my judgments and shadows...
Woke up feeling dreary 
Despite the bright cheerful sun
And the awesomely blue sky outside
You know, that happens

kabhi kabhi ???

Ruined a perfect omelette...
with extra oil and salt
And anger....ainveyi...

Snapped for no reason
At every creature who had the audacity to cross my path!
Upset that everyone looked so bright and chirpy....
And no....

I could not blame

"Those days of the month!"

Unlike in the past, where I would launch into a tirade of emotions when I felt thus,
This time
I just kept quiet
n the irritation simmered somewhere in the background....
A few hours later
whilst watching the interplay of waves and
our shadows
as we sat on the rocks,
Watching the seagulls n distant white sailing boat in the beautiful Dawlish Beach...
... it struck me....

I have struggling so hard to maintain this
perfectly coiffured image
of a perfectly balanced person....

Like the perfectly photoshopped images on Facebook

Always smiling
Always achieving
Always living it up and having a good time
This cranky part of me
Which snaps and bitches
Hollers and simmers
through the
Duniya jala daalongi moods at times

Is all hidden from the world
Oh so much of a burden.....!!!

When the shadows and bitchiness can be embraced as effortlessly...

The seagull which I had been admiring in the blue sky just a wee while ago, swooped down and snatched the dinner roll in my hand...

Such a mean b****!!

Apr 26, 2017

Wanderlust....




Restlessness creeps in

the desire to go somewhere...

Travelling....
exploring new lands

or revisiting the familiar mohallas from the past

connecting with people: familiar faces or strangers
or myself ...

the urge TO DO something meaningful with my life ..
And have new experiences...
Not in the pompous " I want to heal/change/improve the world " way..

but being more 
creative 
different 
colorful
exciting 
invigorating 
compassionate 
caring
Messy sometimes... 
and 
being more HUMAN , for sure !!!!

Am I an inveterate butterfly, moving from experience to experience
or 
Just a traveller? 

Exploring
inside
and
outside

Honoring the traveller within :)

Apr 5, 2017

It's taken time , many years and places....

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Now I become myself

It's taken Time, 
many years and places;
I have been dissolved and shaken,
Worn other people's faces...

~May Sarton~


Sometimes...
Instead of exhilaration,
there seems to be a sense of

What-the-hell-am-I doing with my life?

Is life
a dazed window shopping spree on a frenzied weekend?

Zombie surfing on whatsapp chats
feeding the imaginary pets,
scanning the newspapers for the latest break-ups in Bollywood
and having the predictable automated conversations in social dos where the entire evening is templatized, including the playlists and the drinks...

Running an imaginary treadmill of success, knowing fully well that it doesn't sustain the fire within?
Seeking a 'like' in every conversation, every relationship..
as if that pat will finally liberate the chained puppy inside!

Time to unpeel the mask
and say hello to the acne on my face
the restlessness in the heart
and the loneliness in the dark abyss of the soul

Befriend the shaky ordinary dreams which refuse to go away....

Persistent and determined

Doggedly nudging, cajoling,
Leading me like an awestruck child who sees the shooting star on the sky

and discovers the bliss within ...after chasing it for aeons outside

Time to lose myself....and become Me

Now there is time and Time is young.
O, in this single hour I live
All of myself and do not move.
I, pursued, who madly ran

Stand still, stand still, and stop in the sun.

~May Sarton~


Nov 18, 2015

Dismantling our truth

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“ If we are going through a major crisis, it means we are going through a major dismantling of reference points. There is nothing more creative than dismantling reference points, because the reference points do not represent the truth.” 

Stephen Schwartz

Anguish in the air is palpable…As a mother I feel it more because she is away from home in the university and yes, she was in a concert in London a few months back and is excited about another gig in December again, as I am sure the youngsters in the Bataclan Hall were…

Just another fun evening to enjoy and be with friends! 

Just that it ended in anything but…..As it did for other people in Paris, Beirut, Islamabad, Mumbai, Boston, NYC and the numerous other cities and townships across the world...

Can feel the helplessness and frustration in the discussions among friends, in WA groups and on media at large…

How else do people give a voice to something over which they have no control?

Who do they reach out to…for consolation and just to feel that things are FINE? 

We know very well it could have been any one of us…

I was, after all, one hour too early from the bomb which went off near the passport office in Worli in Mumbai blasts in 1993...

We were just fortunate…that we were not present at the wrong place at the wrong time!

Perhaps time to question more deeply…

Does it matter whether the terrorists were Greek or Syrian refugees?

Do we now prepare ourselves for the next city where indiscriminate gunshots/bomb blasts will terminate lives ?

What is escalating this organised terrorism?

What leads seemingly sane youth to commit heinous crimes such as these?

What socio-political and economic dynamics fuels this phenomena …how else is it burgeoning so rampantly?

Are we so blind that we do not know that proliferation of weapons and encouraging jihad in one region will reverberate with hatred elsewhere? 

Who are these elusive politicians who are supposed to wave the magic wand and make the world “ a better place?” and for heavens sake, 'What is this “better place”?

Is retaliation and fighting back the only solution to such a barbaric act or do we think there is a quick-fix one-shot solution to terrorism or we have lost all hope of solution? 

This is not a crisis for one city and/or one nation/continent.

Whether we like it or not, terrorism and organised hate attacks are the new World Wars , completely a world wide phenomena and we can’t pretend to live in our safe havens…which aren’t anyway safe any more!!

Time for us to lift our buried heads and stop the pretence that ‘THIS' doesn’t impact us…

It does !!!!

Whether its a young boy who died as he was refused a refuge 
or a gun-toting jihadi who uses religion and hate as a refuge to exacerbate his hatred...

Time to dismantle our thoughts around hate politics,
divisiveness and rigid beliefs about ourselves
and the world we are living in
and to look at the truth more realistically and in the eye

Terrorism and divisiveness does not exist out there...
it is very much present inside us, in our unforgiving stances and unresolved hatred...
From the racism inside of us which wants to feel superior and rule over the other!

Perhaps small steps in resolving these resentment within
can contribute much more than jingoism and false hopes of candlelit marches! 

Aug 15, 2015

Swantantrata Divas....What does it really mean to me?

“Dus ka do…Le lo Na, Didi.
Chalo discount main deti hoon,
Dus Ka teen!”

“Two for Rs ten!
Please buy.
I can give you discount.
Buy three for Rs ten.”

The sale of small paper flags at the traffic signals in Mumbai just before the Republic and Independence Day, is a common sight.

When Soumya was younger, we would enthusiastically buy these symbols of our Indian-ness, eager as I was, to teach her about her roots and what it means to be an Indian. Soon I realized that this was not a good idea!

Once the Independence Day was over, the flag lived a neglected, banished existence…rolling from one corner of the house, to other…gathering dust …and I did not know how to put it away. Throwing away the national flag in dustbin, even though it was a symbolic one, seemed discourteous…even blasphemous!!!

When I was younger, Independence Day meant the mandatory rising up early and going to school for the flag hoisting. I still get goosebumps when I recollect how, as the School Captain, I was made to hoist the flag in front of the School assembly.  Perhaps it was the thrill of being the chosen one… or the intangible sense of pride I felt, as I touched the rope and felt the marigold flowers being showered on my head, the feeling was electrifying...

Over the years 15th August for me has become one of those distinct days in August which has the most ‘happening’ Independence Day Sales in the shopping malls, or when it happens to fall on a Friday or a Monday, becomes that extended weekend when we can head to Goa or Matheran for a quick break from work.


With the advent of the social media, the celebration of Indianness is even more real time and in your face! The DPs are changed on 14th August midnight and the tricolor flashed on our Facebook pages to celebrate our bharatiyta. All of this lasts for a day, before the next festivity, the next flavor of the times, takes over!

I wonder what is the Indianness that I want to reflect on and celebrate this 69th year of Independence?

Is it the immense pride I experience when I hear that Sunder Pichai the newly appointed CEO of Google is an Indian by origin?  Or do I celebrate that India’s first Mars mission, which was blasted off in 2014 cost only Rs. 4.5 billion?

Do I feel embarrassed by the fact that India ranked 94th out of 176 countries in the Corruption Perception Index of a survey by Transparency International in 2013?

Or feel inspired that that there are people like Kailash Satyarthi who work hard and selflessly, almost unnoticed and unrecognized, till an international agency highlights their achievements?

Do I hang my head in shame and embarrassment when I watch the elected leaders of one of world’s largest democracy bicker and fight in the parliament house like irresponsible children?  

And then closer to home –

What is it that is Indian about me?

How do I define my connection to my unique roots?

I realize that paradoxes in the India that I live in are, perhaps, very akin to the contradictions, which exist inside me.

Perhaps the bharatiyta for me is the deepest sense of pride I feel in being connected to my roots, to this amazingly spirited and spiritual country, its eclectic take on life and its diversity. 

Like the collective, perhaps I am chasing some defunct ideals and principles which need to questioned, personalized and owned up to, rather than blindly accepted because they have been passed on from centuries.

There is an experience of abundance of love, connections and warmth in relationships here, yet there is stubbornness in taking responsibility and a dependency on others to deliver!

My Indianness is the whole chalta hai attitude... the inability to go down the route of commitment and discipline which can make me excel. It is this huge talent, yet a general disbelief around my capabilities.

Independence and connection to my Indianness in the truest sense would be to break the shackles of these beliefs…walk my talk and live my life from an authentic space!

Where I need to exercise my muscle, is the muscle of acceptance…the need to appreciate, embrace and even celebrate the different, the unusual, the nonconformist in me and others…rather than follow the obvious, run of the mill herd mentality.

Can I connect to what I truly believe about life, rituals and pass them onto Soumya and others with genuine connection and appreciation of how it plays out in my life? 

Can I stop conveniently hiding behind others, to shine? 

Can I for one, believe in my talent and ability to deliver as a mother, wife, daughter and a career woman and step out of the web of doubts?

On this Swantrata divas, time for me perhaps to connect to my personal and very unique take on my independence!



A teardrop

Was that a drop of tear I saw glistening near his eyes? I will never know because he turned his face away, as soon as he heard th...