Dancing in the rain...

It was raining when she returned home...
I opened the door.

"Where is yr umbrella?"
"How could you be so irresponsible...look , you are completely wet!" 

I began to raise my voice visualising those numerous visits to the doctor, 

the all-night sessions with wet towels and cough syrups,

the delay in my project as I sat through the night, attending to her...did she even know that the house-help was on leave the whole of the weekend?

"Chill MOM , What's the problem with getting wet in the rain ? " ....
she sneezed, wet hair plastered on her head and water dripping down her exuberant face, a very unusual sight for her!

In her own way she was carving out her fun, her free-spiritedness.......

I opened the door to my wet and smiling teen who could not control her glee for getting wet in the rain.....

I needed to be free, more than her !

Quietly reflective : the introverts in my life

Reading "QUIET : The power of introverts in a world that can't stop talking." by Susan Cain.

What an eye-opener of a book for an exuberant, wordy, out-in-the-world extrovert like me !

Am taken back to around a decade ago when Soumya was all of five or six and was labelled 'shy' 'anti-social'and 'snooty' by moms n children alike, just because she took time to open up socially in her gentle quiet way. Like me, these people could not understand that she just had a different way of looking at life and was much more than those labels which boxed her into a space which screamed : ' YOU ARE SO QUIET....SPEAK OUT !'

Thanks to Uday, a quiet person himself, that she has, and continues, to blossom in her quiet, resolute and reflective way : teaching me many a lesson in calm and centeredness.

Would recommend this book to all : introverts, extroverts and ambiverts...Check the link http://www.thepowerofintroverts.com/

One of my biggest learning in life has come from the three introverts who inhabit my space : my daughter, husband and father-in-law who balance my chirpy over-stimulated go-for-it presence with reflection, centeredness and depth of thoughts.

More pencil sharpenings...

Received this in mail from Shaheen, who has been one of the biggest influencers and sharpeners in my life .

The most important lesson for me in this, is the Lesson no. 5....

allowing myself to be guided ....always resistant to that :)


A PENCIL MAKER TOLD THE PENCIL 5 IMPORTANT LESSONS JUST BEFORE PUTTING IT IN THE BOX :

1.) EVERYTHING YOU DO WILL ALWAYS LEAVE A MARK .

2.) YOU CAN ALWAYS CORRECT THE MISTAKES YOU MAKE.

3.) WHAT IS IMPORTANT IS WHAT IS INSIDE OF YOU.

4.) IN LIFE , YOU WILL UNDERGO PAINFUL SHARPENINGS, WHICH WILL ONLY MAKE YOU BETTER.

5.) TO BE A PENCIL, YOU MUST ALLOW YOURSELF TO BE HELD AND GUIDED BY THE HAND THAT HOLDS YOU.

We all need to be constantly sharpened.

The huge LCD TV just conked off....

As suddenly as it had come in our life, the 51" LCD TV just decided to close shop one day, and stopped working!

Naturally we were all  upset, felt cheated ...all that talk about the gadget being in the warranty period...'These multinational brands do not maintain the quality in Indian market' etc. etc.

I called the Service Center for a check up ; the surly service guy landed home after numerous follow-up and announced ,"Rs. 20,000 ....for the tube replacement!"

Obviously , it did not make sense...and Oh Yes! We had just missed the warranty period by One month...(not that the tube was covered in the warranty)

Metamorphosis in our lives post this departure  was amazing....



Dining table once again became alive with conversations and silly fights ....about homework and maids and delayed flights and pot holed roads and ....heart breaks !

Guests were welcomed with attention and connection, not just glazed look and  the silent pleas of 'why-don't-you-go-now-I-want-watch-what-happens-in-the-next-episode-of-my-soap!'

As much as my thumb missed the mindless pressing of the remote...we all became aware of each other again !

I also  realised how uneasy I was with the morning silence, which had earlier been filled with morning BREAKING news cacophony!

Strange, how a gadget had so insidiously crept in and changed the fabric of our lives, or rather we had allowed it to ! 

Unstructured time

It is so difficult to manage unstructured time.
Yet I don't think I would like to get back to the regular 9 to 5 routine.

When I quit my job, I asked Thiru if he had any advice for me

 "Manage your unstructured time well, " said he " or it will overwhelm you."

Twenty years later….

Uploaded from http://unsplash.com 

It is so difficult to manage unstructured time.
Yet I don't think I would like to get back to the regular 9 to 5 routine.

Hold to your own truth...

All the true vows
are secret vows
the ones we speak out loud
are the ones we break.

There is only one life
you can call your own
and a thousand others
you can call by any name you want.

Hold to the truth you make
every day with your own body,
don't turn your face away.

Hold to your own truth
at the center of the image
you were born with......

....By the lake in the wood
in the shadows
you can
whisper that truth
to the quiet reflection
you see in the water.

Whatever you hear from
the water, remember,
it wants you to carry
the sound of its truth on your lips.


David Whyte
my favourite poet whose work has profoundly impacted me.....
And connected me to myself

Sometimes the words are too many, 
or too deep....

But here they touch the deepest part 

"Hold to your own truth
at the center of the image
you were born with"

Perhaps, there is no ONE truth, 
or perhaps there is....

As long as I stay true to the longing and not turn my face away from it...

Living with zest..whereever that happens

Turning forty has meant, 

turning introspective....

Somehow turning twenty or thirty was not like this.....
......there was an aggression 
about life
about future ...
for self and others!
Goals to be achieved, 
Imaginary battles to be fought before the Mt. Everest was conquered!

Today there's a need to give others, and myself, the space.

There is also an urge to give back what I have got.

Mellowed down, I definitely have!

Yet, if I were to reflect on myself and life, 
I have been a maverick: 
sometimes rebelliously so
at others , meekly !

and the oft repeated, oft quoted Robert Frost's lines seem written JUST for me!

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I --
I took the one less travelled by,
and that has made all the difference


So am I living life to fit in or stand out ?

Neither.... 

its living life with zest

wherever that happens!